About

How Does One Antagonize One’s Host?

• Put on a Funny Little Hat
• Adopt a Fake, French Canadian Accent
• Tell Sheep jokes at the top of One’s Lungs
• Relentlessly Hammer Visiting, “Important”, Guests regarding positions One disagrees with — continue to do so Long after the point has been conceeded
• With Highly Dramatic Flare, grasp a Board, which the Invited Hewer of “Honor” has been using to prevent his Axe from striking the Dirt, and Fling it into the Woods, with the Cry; “I Don’t need no God Damn Plyweeed!” Then discover that this, afore mentioned person, is standing behind One… With their gathered Entourage
• Wave Pleasantly, Smile Broadly
• Flirt, Flirt, Flirt
• Turn what was “Intended” to be an Instructional, non-Interactive, Seminar by One, into a Mass Hewing/French (Freedom!) Scribe Extravaganza, with up to SEVEN Axes swinging in Wild abandon at any One time, and so many Scribers (Most First time) that plumb bob’s must soon be Fabricated by stones in flaps of Cloth.

• Oh yes, And be captured Doing all this by a Documentary Film Crew, and a National Geogrpahic Photographer
• Ahh, What a Beautiful Thing 🙂

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The Meeting

I met Richard Babcock about twelve years ago, just as I was starting to get into this business. I had done two other jobs before that, one had just ended, kind of a disaster, but I wasn’t put off from this business at all. And I go back to my mentor in western mass, Jack Sobon, he had been extremely supportive up till that point, still a close friend today.  Boy you know I was just hungry for knowledge and Jack knew that. He was starting another job and I sort of suppose that I figured I would get in on that job with him, but he had other plans for me, as it turned out. I don’t know if I asked him for a job or he simply reacted to me being out of work but said that he would hire me in a second if I was trained, but that he didn’t have the time or the resources to train me, and he looked a little shame faced about that.

And then, he gets this idea, and when Jack gets an idea, boy you know it in a second.  Cause He’s standing there eye’s wide open, shaking a finger in your face. He doesn’t have to be saying a word but you know he’s on to something.

He says “I know, Richard Babcock’s looking for somebody” and boy, right then, he starts laughing, you know, As though that was the funniest thing in the world, but at the same time as though I was the luckiest man that ever walked the face of this earth, and I suppose in a way, both those things are true, cause I sure as hell got a lot of stories from them.

So, Jack’s like all excited now, looks like some damn, six foot six 300 pound kid all alone in a candy store. He tells me he’s going to call up Richard Babcock that evening, and sure enough he does. I get a call from Richard, maybe that same day, or the next day, but it was pretty quick. Some how it turned out that I was working for nothing. So Richard calls me up and we shoot the shit for a couple minutes, and he tells me to come on down the next day, 6:30 in the morning, and meet them at the local dinner in Stephen town, just over my mountains in NY.

The next day I’m all nervous and all that. Jack had told me some stories about Richard, about this guy giving Jack his start, that he’s built buildings everywhere, that he was the father of modern timber framing and all this other crap.  He also tells me a brief description; Richard Babcock’s this big guy, white hair, somewhat grizzled looking and weathered, looks like an old farmer. You know.

So I get there and there is this one guy that matches the description. He’s sittin’ all by himself, staring down his breakfast. I didn’t know what he was doing, whether he was having some kind of mental battle with this thing, listening to it intently or trying to will it into his mouth. Either way, I walked up to him, somewhat nervous, and said, “Mr. Babcock?” and he just sort of cocks his head slowly to the side to take me in and fixes me with this one eye, then he gets this kind of a grin on his face and he drawls out,

“You must be dick’s new trainee boy.” And now he’s fixin me that same look he was fixin his breakfast when I walked in.

And, shit, I just stammered, “ You know, I uh, I think I’ll just wait over here till he comes in, alright?”  And by that time he had already gone back to staring down his breakfast, forgotten all about me, it seemed.

So I’m sittin there wondering just what the hell have I gotten myself into, and you know, here I was, thin young kid, with long hair, in an obviously red-necked neighbor hood and scared, nervous and all that to boot, the only thing I had on my side was this great passion for timber framing, but still, guts are like water and I’m bout ready to kick out of there at any second, and I hear from behind me,

“You must be Jack’s boy, I’m Richard” And there he is, kindliest, looking old farmer guy you’d every seen, shock of white hair, piercing blue eyes, freshly shaved face, huge barrel chest. A man no bigger than I am, no taller anyway, maybe even a bit shorter. So, he just grabs a chair and he sets down right next to me and you know he starts speaking to me like he’s known me ever since I was knee high to a grasshopper.

Waitress comes up, big woman, big woman. Cross look on her face, damned if she doesn’t look like the other guy. And Babcock says, “Meet Henry yet?” as she sets down a cup of coffee in front of him, he winks at her, gives her this little chuckle  “thanks sugar, I’ll have the usual.” but she had already turned to me, pen on that pad, not a word on her lips just this impatient look in her eyes and taping her foot and Babcock’s telling me,  “You already eat, boy? Go ahead, we got a few minutes till Clayton gets here, that’s who you’ll be working for.”

So I ordered something, it must have been coffee and it must have been eggs, cause that’s what I got. Richard got the same thing too. I suppose saying you’ll have the usual is just some way of saving face cause you know you’re going to get the usual whether you want it or not.  It turns out the man I first met was Henry and this was his wife. Henry works for Richard and Henry swears he taught Richard everything he knew, Richard swears he keeps him on only out of friendship and this long-standing history they’ve shared.

Either way this waitress is Henry’s wife and Henry’s just insanely jealous. He’s ever watchful and always afraid that some man is going to sweep this woman up and take her away from him. One of my other Mentors, Paul Martin; who also used to work for Richard, just finds that the funniest thing in the world.  He used to laugh, it was his joke, that Henry’s wife is so big…, and it doesn’t matter where you say this, Henry’s wife is so big that you can see her from, well… there she is! Just over that hill.

So, Richard’s telling me now, points out Henry and I say, yeah, I met him and I don’t think Henry’s moved a muscle. He’s still staring down that breakfast. But now Richard’s telling me,

“You’re going to be working for my son Clayton, Yep, he’s a good boy he is. He’s a bodybuilder, had a lot of trouble with booze, but he found something to replace it and that’s what you got to do! Real proud of that boy cause he’s gone places, he’s made something of himself. Jack says you want to learn the trade, well, Clayton’s a damn fine one to learn from, just do what he says and he’ll teach you everything he knows.” And he says,

“ I’ll be back and forth, I’ve got another job going on but I’ll be helping Clayton every now and then. Yep, we’ll take care of you right, boy. As soon as Clayton comes in.. Well, there he is now. Clayton! ”

He stands up, waving at this guy who just, comes in, another damn cross face. You can tell he’s a body builder, even from a good distance away. He’s just standing in that door. He must be posing as a statue, to some old foreign war or something cause he’s just standing there, arms all hanging out, Fixed, cross look on his face. Trying to be intimidating while seeming like he doesn’t give a damn.

He notices his father from across the room and he gives him an annoyed look but his father just ignores that, “Clayton! Clayton! Want you to come over here and meet your new man.” Clayton’s on his way over by now. “New man,” he growls, “I didn’t see no application.” Babcock looks awful puzzled at that and says, “Application? What the hell kind of application you need to work for nothing?”

Boy, Clayton looks all shocked at that, and, boy he’s not one to miss an opportunity. He wipes his hand and quick as anything sticks it out there, takes my own in his and says, “Clayton Babcock. Pleased to meet ya.” And that’s how I meet the Babcocks.