Photo by Craig Boynton of MA

The Dawn is hours away. It was a sleepless night, but restful. We fall asleep to First John, and wake to Revelations. Revelations was never so peaceful. We were candlesticks, upon waking. It is a job interview this morning. It was to be a standard interview, with a skilled trade placement agency. I had done work for them before and they were so tickled to see my resume that they simply checked out the latest reference and sent it on with a strong recommendation. It was to be, but the young man was so bubbly. The turn around was almost instantaneous.
“Can we see him?”
“When?”
“Whenever, anytime except lunch.”
We planned. How long would the agency screening take. What would traffic be like. How long the drive between offices.
It is good to plan, it is good to talk.
This all came about because I was waiting, and I was tired of waiting because bills were mounting. Already. In just two weeks. It was a reminder that the pay from the company I had just left wasn’t going to cut it. The stress on my wife was building and I was trying to hear the Lord’s voice in all of this. It is as I told my wife. We were not in trouble. This was nothing. At the worst it would be a few weeks, maybe a month, we just have little margin before things get very tight, but compared to many we were still ok. Really seeking to listen and to follow now was a learning. An opportunity to know before any real test. When things are really bad, when it is life and death, when the choices before you seem insane and you have to lead people, or they die, then, then you want to KNOW. How can you lead if you yourself aren’t sure. If you don’t know. For if its false surety, you lead in circles at best.
I sent out three resumes. One came back in twenty minutes. This young man, and here he was, so tickled that within thirty minutes he got a strong response from this company, and here he was planning with me, and almost giggling, he was so happy. He had a good relationship with them, with the one I was to meet.
“You’ll like him.” he said. “I really enjoy talking to him.”

“Dang.” I say
“What’s wrong?” my wife asks.
“This company. They do pressure vessels, and 6G TIG.” I say, staring at the companies website.
“Is that bad?” she asks, concerned.
“No. Its exactly what I was looking for. Its just that I thought they were a run of the mill production facility.”
“Oh.” she laughs. I love that throaty, contented laugh. Its one of the things I live for. She had been so stressed when I spoke of doing whatever it took to pay the bills. Stressed as she had been she didn’t want to see me doing just anything, and getting “sidetracked”.

When I wake I have an idea for this story, so I go to my phone to take a picture, only, there is a message on my phone. How did I miss that? I had been so attentive of that phone lately. I who never answer it, use it only to take pictures of welds, wife and home, and to text her. It is off when I come home, except of late. And here is a message from a company I have been wanting to get into for the last two years. They want to talk with me. Fine. But I am ready to let them go. I had been asking the Lord, how can I know your voice. All my life I was led wordlessly. It is a knowing that is only six inches ahead of you. I had met those who hear, and, lately, I wanted that. I wasn’t as afraid any longer. Afraid I would be sent to some far off land, and live with spiders in some hole, or deep swamp. Why do we have these fears. I had lived worse.
Wherever I had gone, lately, Christians had abounded, and, there was always work to do. People to talk to. Ethics to adhere to. And, people to listen to. Bolstering others we ourselves are bolstered, but it has also been a journey of putting oneself out there. What do I believe, and then, being stripped bare. Do I live it? How much is crap, just words, and, there is always more to learn, but we aren’t disciples of one another. We are fellow travelers. Yes, I have my beliefs, and they are often in great conflict with other Christians, but, in general, I have less of a problem with them than they have with me, but, usually, their own love smooth’s the way. Rarely have I been utterly rejected and thrown to the curb because they cannot tolerate me. I lean heavily towards messianic (which is not apocalyptic, at all), and I view the Holy Spirit as absolutely essential. Scripture and Spirit, not one or the other.
It is like politics. Once you scrape aside the dogma, and get to the real person, with their own, unique story. Story. Life story. Scrap abortion, scrap gay marriage, and whatever current catch words are the flavor of the month, you get to their personal connection to those topics, and it will not, and cannot be the talking points. It will be names, and memories, and faces and occurrences. This is life. How can we hear the Lord’s voice if we cannot even touch the reality of our own experiences.
That is where I want to meet people.
So now I get ready. In an hour, now, I have been given another opportunity to go before someone and sell my services. I ask the Lord to help me make that sale, but also to use this as an opportunity to hear Him. One job or another, years from now the money will be spent, friends made, and lost, and work done and it will likely not have mattered all that much, other than those moment to moment events that exist no matter what, but connecting to your Maker… that matters to me, that will carry the day, make me a better husband, son and friend. That matters.
So now, it is Dawn.
Let us see what the day brings.
Thank you, Father.